Same Same, But Different

This is the post where I usually reflect (dwell) on the past year, and look forward to (pretend I have a plan for) the coming one. 

I normally make and share some resolutions, which always seem to be the same. I make a list of vague goals such as: work smarter, eat better, read a bunch, travel more, make time for life, grow up, figure it out. I also list more specific goals, like: earn £XX,XXX, sign a new book deal, wear underpants every single day…

But the one thing I learn every year is that a year will never turn out as I imagine — although it also kind of will.

I have the same realisation when I look back at the end of each year. So many things that happen in a year are things that I’d never even considered could or would happen. Here’s a few of those things that have happened in the last few years:

  • First book deal with Penguin
  • Hosted an event in New York
  • Went to Texas
  • Became an uncle
  • Signed to a literary agent
  • Finally visited a doctor about depression
  • Started using the world “girlfriend”
  • Ate squid, didn't hate it
  • Am still living in Rugeley, Staffordshire

So this year I’m not going to share my resolutions, mainly because I’m not sure if I’ll actually make (m)any. It’s not that I don’t believe in setting goals these days, because I do. But at the end of each year I tend to look back on those initial resolutions with a sense of failure, despite all the great things I achieve.

Unexpected events push back the goals I made on January 1st, and I often find myself ignoring goals along the way as I end up on a different path. Ending the year on a different path is no bad thing, but it’s made me realise the value of the present moment, and being more fluid. Actually, the one resolution I will share this year is that I want to “be more present” — to stop dwelling on the past and stressing about the future. Which is something I’ve already started. 

I know that this year will be full of ups and downs, like every other year. I know that I’ll achieve some of the things I want to, and I won’t achieve others. I also know that a lot of things will happen in the next 12 months that I can’t even imagine right now. So I’m going to concentrate on this moment, right here, and trust that life will keep moving forward regardless.

I’m also going to eat more greens.

LifeLee CrutchleyComment